Aye, I see you standing there –

But tell me – what can I do?

You cannot see me, it seems;

But I can see you.

What agony it is for me –

Wondering what you are to do;

Spinning in a constant wind –

Staying here – looking for you.

I make a loud crashing noise –

You scream and wince in fear;

I want to tell you not to be afraid –

But my words you cannot hear.

Time keeps moving along -

New faces are all around;

Again, I ask, with no replies;

And, still, I have not found.

For mercy, I pray – Set me free!

And then, like a cloud of light –

The help I so long had sought –

A light in the room – so bright.

What an answer I get indeed!

An angel, it seems, is sent –

Finally, someone can hear me!

Tell me how to repent!

Where, do tell, has my love gone?

Where is it that she awaits?

Here, I’ve waited, ever so long-

I am ready for my fate.

Today, I saw the light through your eyes-

Buried beneath all the rubble and stone;

Waiting with anticipation to be released-

And through the world, its brilliance grown.

A healer’s energy within you, I feel-

Powerful beyond many masters of healing-

Why then, do yourself, not heal-

But instead, cover yourself in armored shielding?

Deserving of all that is you and within you-

Though feeling of all, the least deserving;

Helping everyone around you in some way-

But always, left with a constant yearning.

It is deep within you to discover-

Seek for it with new and different eyes-

Eyes that see within and not without;

It is there, every answer you seek lies.

Do you know yourself? Do you know the spirit who lives within you and has chosen this shell, this skin you are in, to house it in this lifetime? Do you know why you have chosen this particular shell? To everything, and I do mean everything, there is a reason.

Take the time to get to know the real you. There is an incredible bright spirit that lives within you. That spirit is you. If you don’t already meditate, learn to. Learn to look at your shell from the inside out to understand who you have chosen to be in this life in order to achieve the growth and learning that you have come here to achieve.

We, as a whole, look from the outside in. We are programmed that way. The key is in reprogramming yourself to come from inside out. We are programmed to think of ourselves and view ourselves as a product of our “outside” world, or a product of our environment. What goes in from outside, combined with the gifts and tools we brought with us, becomes who we are. If you come, though, from the inside to the outside, you will come to see a beautiful difference. Your outside circumstances such as a neglected childhood, or other traumatic experiences, that you may feel have shaped who you are in a negative sense, become, instead, blessings, as you will start to see the underlying reasons for those situations or circumstances in your life.

You have chosen this shell because it fits in with the other tools, gifts, talents, obstacles, situations, and growth you chose to help you with achieving your mission or purpose, but it is truly not who you are. It is only part of the package you chose in order to have the best circumstances for success.

If you really want to get the most out of this life, get to know your shell. Really get to know your personality, positive and negative points. Overcome the negative by turning them into positives, and use the gifts, and the tools you’ve brought to make a positive difference in this world. We all can. It is no one’s choice but yours whether the difference you make is positive or negative.

Each and every person has brought a unique set of tools to work with. Your gifts or tools, are simply what you’re drawn to, and what things you do best. Other tools are things such as personality traits, life circumstances, special skills, or special areas of interest, and believe it or not, even obstacles.

I am not at all saying that everything in life is predestined. I am only saying that certain life situations are part of our greater plan to learn and grow from. What we do with it from there, is up to each one of us as individuals. We have free will to make choices and decisions that, most certainly, can and do, affect the outcome of our lives.

About a year ago, a client and friend booked me for an evening of readings in her home. She had several friends from work who wanted to have readings. None of them had ever had a reading, and all thought they would feel more comfortable having readings one on one throughout an evening with friends.

I arrived for the appointment a little late and a little stressed. I am the mother of three children, two of whom are affected by autism. Sometimes evening appointments can be really challenging to get to, as autistic children like for things to be the same and on the same schedule. I felt blessed that this client was also a close friend who knew my struggles and challenges, and I felt certain had conveyed them.

Upon arriving, I said hello to everyone, and of course, apologized for being late, set myself up in the room they wanted me in, and began to meditate to release all the energy that was my own, ground myself, and ask for guidance. I asked, as I always do, to be made a vessel of light and to be given information to help, inspire, and enlighten the people who would be coming in one by one that evening.

All ready for the first reading, I walked back down the hall to see who would be going first. As everyone looked up to see me appear in the doorway, a woman stood and said, “I have to go first you guys. We are really going to fight tonight if he has to keep the kids very long for me to do this!" Everyone laughed, and I said, “Well, then, I guess you’ll be going first!”

We sat down, got comfortable, and I asked her what type of reading she was hoping for.  She told me she was hoping for just an overall type reading, and was also hoping there might be someone who would come through for her during the reading from the other side. She said she would be excited to hear from anyone, as she had many loved ones who had already crossed.

With that I began the reading, giving her information about various events and such that I saw in her future, describing people, and answering her questions. We were just about to wrap up, when I felt the shift of energy, and ringing sensation in my ears that signals to me there is someone coming through to communicate.

I described for her the two spirits I saw - what they looked like, what their personalities were like, and how they had died, and told her, “The female is saying she is Mom and he is saying he is Dad, but I get the feeling they are not.”  I gave her the female’s name, and described a ring the male showed me, to which she informed me, “You have my mother and father in-law.”

I gave her the messages they had specifically for her, feeling  and seeing  the release of her emotion that such communication always brings when information is given that validates beyond a doubt the further existence of loved ones lost.

Then, a dog seemed to come out of nowhere, running all around me, stopping for a moment, and then going back from where he came.  I described the dog as a retired police dog or a German Sheppard to my client, describing the dog in full detail, and asked her if she knew the dog. She said she didn’t, but she thought her husband had a dog like I was describing as a child. I felt the energy of all who were visiting pulling back, and as they were leaving I heard, “Tell him we love him and we have Buddy!”

I told her, “They want your husband to know they love him and that Buddy is with them. Please tell him that.”

“I will.”  She said. “I don’t know the name of his dog from childhood, but I can’t wait to get home and tell him about this and about Buddy. He doesn’t believe there is anything after death, and he wasn’t very happy about my getting a reading. He says it’s all hogwash! “

I hugged her, bid her well, and received the next client.

The next day, bright and early, I received a call from the dear lady who had gotten a  surprise visit from her  in-laws the evening before. She was in tears as she was telling me her husband’s reaction to the message and validation he had received  through his mother naming his childhood friend.  His life direction had been completely turned around, overnight, by one simple sentence from the other side.

The messages that need to come through always do.

Are you raising a child with autism? Perhaps you are raising more than one, on different ends of the spectrum.  If so, then consider yourself blessed! These children have chosen to come here at this time all together to literally change the world, and chose YOU to be their Mommy or Daddy. Looking at it from that point of view, you are in a position of great honor.  You have been blessed with the gift of raising a gifted child!

I’ve seen many people, when faced with a child, whose diagnosis fall somewhere along the spectrum, literally “mourn” their child, and what their lives’ may have been like if their child had been “normal”. Some even go to great lengths to find ways to make their child “normal”, or hide the fact the child has autism. Certainly not to say that we shouldn’t help our children in every possible way that we can to improve  their skills, but hiding it or pretending it isn’t there, is unhealthy for all, especially the child!

 Many are on brave crusades to expose the truth behind the causes. Others are finding great success in returning to our earth for nutrition, and teaching others how to do the same.  Still, others are rescuing hundreds of families by providing appropriate, affordable, school environments, therapies, and centers.  All, when raising a child with autism, find their voice in joining with others in one arena or another.  All  are badly needed, and bring blessings and hope to the many families  they touch.  I assure you, though, all of us came here with the purpose of learning and growing from autism being part of our larger plan.  

What has raising a child with autism taught you about yourself?  How have you grown?  What was your life like before autism compared to now?  I had a corporate career before autism.  Autism forced me to use my  gifts, and to think outside of the box more naturally than thinking inside the box.  Sometimes things are put into our blueprints to lead us in an entirely different direction. They cause us to create paths that would not otherwise have been created, and use talents and abilities we might  otherwise, have been unaware we even had. 

When you really take a look at all you have learned about yourself through the trials of raising a child with autism, you will be amazed at how it has transformed you, and made you a better person.  I have found that I have strength, patience, and determination beyond any measure I could have ever imagined. Autism has taught me that I am a teacher and an educator, an advocate, an entrepreneur, a protector, a defender, survivor, and a nurturer, among many, many other things. It has brought me together with people who I would not otherwise have come in contact with, and truly blessed my life through all we have been able to accomplish by pooling our strengths and talents.

Autism is bringing great gifts to the whole world. It is bringing together people worldwide for a common cause. It is teaching our world to live and act in more positive ways. It is exposing truths that would not otherwise be exposed. It is bringing tolerance and understanding to mass amounts of people. It is teaching us to love freely and openly. It is teaching us to return to the healing gifts of our earth. It is showing us how to walk different paths. It is teaching us to turn away from the negative and focus on the positive in our lives.

These children are gifted in many, many different ways.  Many are our next generation of inventors, writers, actors, scientists, scholars, experts, meteorologists, designers, programmers, producers, musicians, and artists.  

The obsessions of aspergers syndrome that you initially may have tried to “get rid of” in your child, will ultimately lead to very fulfilling careers. The facts that your child is constantly absorbing and telling you non- stop will lead to becoming an expert in a field of fascinating interest to him/her later in life.

We may help them to learn the social rules, learn better communication, and to appear like other children who do not have autism, but the gifts of autism are still there. The mind of a person with autism thinks differently, and creates freely, without the social fears usually associated great accomplishments. They also are able to hyper focus in areas where they have an extreme interest helping them excel in very specific careers and businesses. What we do now, including whether issues are handled positively with love, or negatively with anger, will make the difference in how far they are able to go.

We all have gifts. Do you know what yours are? Right down to the moment we are born, and how that relates to our talents and gifts, is planned. We assist with that planning before we come here. Our strengths, talents, and information about what drives us, can all be found in our astrological birth charts.

This is yet another benefit of meditation. Connecting with your higher self is essential to really know what purpose your talents and gifts bring. This is invaluable to help yourself through the challenges and blocks that stand in the way of your full potential in this life.

Also planned, are our weaknesses and what we must overcome for our own unique spiritual growth. Understanding those challenges helps us get through them . Getting through them means we are able to radiate our talents and gifts to help others, and use them for the benefit of all.

Most of us know what our gifts are, but may not use them. Many have blocks or fear associated with their gifts, or what I like to call "family programming" to overcome. Some just haven't yet discovered how to get from point A to point B.

Wherever you are on your spiritual path, there is always more to learn on every subject.We are happiest when using our talents and gifts to help others, and in doing so, we truly live the life of our dreams.

I

f you are searching for spiritual awareness, then it is spiritual awareness you will find. The way to get there is very simple, though the road to get there through the obstacles you must overcome, can sometimes seem long.

What we seek out is what we find. Be a seeker. Matthew 7:7-8 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

It sounds really simple, doesn't it? It is! Come from a gratifying, peaceful place. Come from deep within yourself. Ask for what you need, and be ready to receive it. Look for truth, and truth will find you. Focus yourself on higher thought wave patterns beyond the illusions of life.

Ever heard the saying "What you put out there, you get back."? Our thoughts are energy. We are made of energy. Remember that, and do not think of the judgements of others. You are what you make yourself. Make yourself a shining light!

Are your fears holding you back from achieving your goals? Are there things you have always wanted to do, and feel you could do, but never seem to get around to working towards making that dream a reality?

Our fears can be very debilitating. When we fear, and put that emotion out there, our lives mirror that fear taking us farther and farther from our goals. If you are not living your dreams, really think about that, and take an honest look at your life. If you are going to overcome your fears, you must first recognize what those fears are.

Take some time to identify your fears. Take a piece of paper and write them all down, no matter how silly they may seem. Remember nobody will see this list except you. List them all. Even if you don't think fear is holding you back, you'll be amazed at what you come up with.Now that you have identified your fears, you can work towards releasing them!

Put yourself in a quiet place. Relax yourself by breathing in deeply and releasing slowly. Visualize all the fears you have written stuffed into a tiny, closed box sitting on the ground near your feet. As you continue relaxing your body, visualize the contents of the box leaking out the bottom and being absorbed by the ground. Now visualize yourself opening the empty box, realizing that now your fears are gone.

If you continue to do meditations for even a small amount of time per day, focused on releasing the fears that hold you back, you will start to feel less and less held back, and more and more focused on your goals, finding yourself finally beginning to work towards making those special dreams a reality.

Believe it or not, what holds a great many of us back is not fear of failure, even though, we make ourselves believe that. It is often just the opposite. We are afraid we will succeed beyond our wildest imaginations!

What is it that you have always wanted to do? If you are not enjoying your work, you are not in the right profession! If that is the case, then it's time to go inside yourself, look for answers and find your direction!

It is not the things we have done in our lives that we will regret, but the things we didn't do! If you ever talk with anyone who has faced death and is still here, they will tell you. It was what lay dormant in dreams left behind, the things they wanted to do, but didn't try to achieve that plagued them when they reviewed the life they had so far lived.

As a cancer survivor, I can tell you. Let go of your fears and live the life of your dreams. It will make the difference you lack in your life. Use all your imagination, spread your wings, and fly! Be aware of your ability to help others in whatever arena that is. Come from a place of love and gratitude in all you seek, and you will be guided.

Everything around us is constantly changing and evolving. Death is only one of those changes. The person still exists once they leave us. They just exist on another plane. They can still visit with us, and see us, just not in the same way they did while on this plane with us.

We are all actually dead on this plane, and they are alive on the other plane. We are born dying. We are designed to only be here temporarily for growth, then return to our home on the other plane.

It is devestating to lose a loved one, I know. Please know, though, they are with you, still sharing every special moment, holiday, and trying time you go through. Pay attention, and they will make themselves known to you. The more open you are to their communications and signs, the more you will see them. (or hear them, or smell special scents related to them!)